1. Honour thy Grand Master and thy Religious Advisor so that thy days may be prolonged and that Hashing may go well with thee.
  2. The Hashday is sacred. Six days mayest thou labour, but on the seventh shalt thou Hash.
  3. Thou shalt lay the trail in the wilderness and not upon the cultivated fields burgeoning forth with wholesome grains and other fruits of the soil and the long labours of man, for verily the wrath of those offended shall know no bounds and their vengeance shall fall upon the innocent as upon the guilty.
  4. Thou shalt cast thy trail sign freely upon the ground so that those who follow thee need not be led astray in confusion and despair, for those who hunger and search in the wilderness shall surely strive to punish the Hares for their folly and wickedness.
  5. Thou shalt restart the trail not more than 75 metres from the check in close country, nor more than 150 metres from the check in open country, less thy fellows rend thee asunder in their anguish.
  6. Thou shalt abjure all temptations of the flesh during the Circle, as also during the run; neither shalt thou Hash if thou art tempted by the flesh of the gender like unto you; neither shalt thou seek solace in the flesh of the beasts of the field.
  7. Thou shalt not shortcut the trail except thou be in sight of the trail or the chariots; nor shalt thou find fault with Mismanagement; and shouldst thou shortchange Hash Cash thou shalt surely perish.
  8. There is no Rule 8.
  9. Thou shalt not accept conveyance on any chariot but shall cover the trail under the sweat of thine own limbs, excepting that Hash Horros may be carried atop the shoulders of the sturdy.
  10. Thou shalt preserve the sanctity of the circle by refraining from undue boisterousness whilst the Grand Master or the Religious Advisor doth proclaim the word of Hash.
  11. Thou shalt not heedlessly discard into the wilderness the receptacles of the fluids that sustaineth thee, for the Hash doth crave a pristine landscape, and Hash Cash will wax exceedingly wrathful at the loss of Hash funds. Nor shalt thou cover the wilderness in garbage.
  12. Observance of Rule 8 is optional.
  13. Except thou be the Grand Master thous shalt not cover thy head within the circle unless thou desireth to drink from the Megamug.
  14. Except thou useth a cigarette holder, thou shalt not smoke within the circle.
  15. If thou art awarded a Down Down thou mayest protest, whimper or squirm if such is your way, but thou mayest not refuse, not exhibit bad manners lest this reflect sorely upon thee.